Not much fun…

I’ll start this on a positive note: There’s a new chapter of Avatar up, and I rather like this one and the next one (which I’m not posting yet.). My writing speed hasn’t improved, but I have a few things I’ve started that have promise. Plus, I’m going to try a new tack with Avatar, and hope that helps me finish Establishment. It was much easier when I could write everyday, and I was concentrating on writing a single thing. Now on to the not so good stuff. I’m just venting, so if’n ya don’t wanna read it, feel free to skip the bitching.

Well, the summer’s all but over. Bummer. I hate the winter time. Snow. Ice. Cold. Of course, I still have a few more months before I have to deal with that shit. Thank the Gods.

I wish I could say I had a great summer, but the truth is, it mostly just sucked. The job has gotten even worse as I’m stuck with a cement head for a tech lead, and my hopes of getting a new job slip further away every day. I’m not employable in my field of choice (or any other field) because, despite my knowledge, all the little college kiddies, and all the East Indians work for far less than I do. And hell, it’s not like a company would value fifteen years of experience, now would they? Why did I ever think a tech job would be a good idea?

My stress is sky high (and with my health, that’s not a good thing), and I can’t seem to get a handle on it. Almost nothing is going well. I haven’t been to a BDSM club in forever (there just aren’t any around here). There’s little to inspire the good scenes in Avatar. I was at an event recently, but well, it was kinda slow, to say the least. And while it was kink friendly, it wasn’t a play space and even if it had been, it wouldn’t have mattered because my wife wasn’t with me.

Comcast, the low life motherfuckers that they are, have deployed Sandvine, which kills torrent uploading. They deny this, but the tobacco companies denied that smoking is bad for you for years. Lot’s of helpful people on various forums (read assholes who are about ten) give the amazingly insightful advice: “Just change providers ya dork.” Did they think I’d stay with Comcrap if I had a choice? Fucking idiots.

There will come a time when FIOS is available in this area, and when it is, I’ll dump Comcrap in seconds. Not, mind you, that I think that Verizon will be any better. There’s not a large company in the US that doesn’t treat its customers like shit — or criminals — or both, and not a fucking one of them is run by someone who isn’t a short sighted, greedy and very rich asshole. But hey, they got their money, so who cares right?

And speaking of idiots, let’s talk about Bioshock for a moment. The game wasn’t even on my radar, and when I heard that they’d deployed it using Steam and DRM cripple-ware called SecuRom, I was like, no thanks. Are these people stupid or what? They treat the customers like crooks, install root kits that fuck your system up, and we’re still supposed to pay $50 for the privilege of buying their buggy product? Get fucking real — no wonder people just download the things. Here’s a hint to the game companies: It’s my computer not yours. You may not install something on it that fucks it up!

Fanboys of crippleware, DRM or especially Steam need not respond. I know I don’t have to put the shit on my computer, but you’re not always told that they’ve installed malware until it’s too late. If someone dumped SecuRom, or Goddess forbid Starforce on your computer, you might as well just restore from backup.

A quick shotout to the Science Fiction Writers of America: Your president is a fucking ASSHOLE (

I was once thinking of joining that, but never mind. I’ll go with creative commons. What the hell is it with all these fucking losers that grab onto something, usually something that someone else created, and think they fucking own it?

We all know that Microsoft is a megalithic entity comprised of mostly assholes, at least at the top. They are a monopoly and can do what they want. In this case, what they wanted was to shut down AutopatcherXP. Thanks, you assholes. Soon enough, between the shit that Microsoft pulls and the destruction of PC gaming (thanks to companies like MS and EA and the malware they insist you use to ‘protect’ their product), I’ll be able to just stay with Linux. Of course, the greedy corporate types will still try and destroy that. Asswipes.

Well, if you’ve gotten this far, congratulations. And, to whatever fans I have left out there, thanks for continuing to read. I have another story that I’m hoping to complete, and I’ll post that when/if I do. And no, it’s not the second SG69 one. I might finish that someday.


About Dark Pen

I am Dark Pen. I write BDSM stories, almost always with plot and consider myself a Soldier in the battle against America's war on sex.
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8 Responses to Not much fun…

  1. Anonymous says:

    Good fans wouldn’t stop liking you just because you have a rant. Besides, I agree with most of your sentiments. Best of luck with everything (like job and life). Now this is where I’d normally happily run off to read avatar. However, it is unfortunately 4 am, and I desperately need to sleep. So I’ll look forward to it tomorrow when I get up 😀
    Yours, Treiss

    • Dark Pen says:

      Yeah… I tried to justify it with the ‘it’s my journal and I’ll bitch if I want to.’ but really, I’d much rather have positive things to say.
      So, on the positive side, there are some things I’m writing that I really do like 🙂

  2. Anonymous says:

    Well, life really sucks. That is an understatement. However, it’s the only thing we really have. So, thanks once more for letting us enjoy it a little bit more by your writings.
    I for myself check every couple of days for your updates. With very few exceptions (Leviticus $ Co), you are the only BDSM writer who can merge plot, action dialog and kink at a really professional level.
    Keep the good job your doing and – maybe – you will turn to full time writing. There’s a lot of crap that get published, so why not your high quality BDSM fiction ?
    (Sorry for my English)

    • Dark Pen says:

      Thanks for the praise. I’m glad you like the writing. I do enjoy doing it, for sure, but like most creative activities, I need to be in a head space to actually create something good.
      As for going pro? It’s surprisingly hard to do that. It’s surprisingly hard to get stuff published. There are a lot of pro erotica writers out there, and a lot of them are pretty damned good. So there’s more than a little competition. Sure, I’d love to get published for real (I have two e-books, but while it’s fun and a small income, it’s not exactly the same thing), but it ain’t easy 🙂

  3. Anonymous says:

    Glad to hear another Avatar chapter is out and I look forward to reading that soon.
    Sorry to hear that life is still not great.
    In the UK, lots of people are giving up office/hi-tech jobs to do plumbing and other trades. There may be non-obvious options like that out there for you. Or perhaps the commercial writing might take off enough.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yup. I’ve been looking at various options. Not plumbing, electrical or contracting — those require a license (which any union here will block unless you’re on the inside) or for you to be an illegal alien — which I’m not. I haven’t given up the commercial writing dream, but that ain’t lookin’ so good either. We’ll see though.
      Hope you’re doing well N.
      BTW, I’ve always wondered if I should post that story I wrote for your friend. I didn’t think it was right though, so I haven’t. What do you think?

      • Anonymous says:

        Hmmm, I am doing well but I think you have me confused with someone else (or you know more about my friends than I do). Probably my fault for only signing off as “N.”, which isn’t overly distinctive. I have now registered a OpenId so will not be completely anonymous from now on.

  4. Anonymous says:

    And as for SWFA and the stupid DMCA (which I believe the UK also has some version of) – it sucks.

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