I don’t have any pet peeves. I have a whole zoo of the fuckers. However, here are some writing peeves:
When you write dialog, DON’T USE SOMEONE’S NAME IN EVERY DAMNED SENTENCE!
Example of what NOT to do:
(Scene, there are only two people in the room. In fact, they’re the only two people left on the planet!)
“Bob,” said Mary, “You really seem to like my tits.”
“Yes Mary,” said Bob, “They are amazing! Like massive watermelons.”
“Thank you Bob,” said Mary, “Bob, since we’re the last two on earth, should we have sex? I mean, Bob, I think I really love you!”
“Mary,” replied Bob, “You are so sexy. Mary I love you too. Please, let’s repopulate the planet.”
People write like that all the time, and it totally kills the story.
Idiotic use of exclamation points.
They are not needed after every sentence! Unless you’re a fucking NASCAR announcer!
Bob pulled a pen out of his pocket!
Mary gasped, when she saw it still had ink!
It was the most excitement the reader was going to see in this story!